Long Haul or Long Shot?

As an eighteen year old girl it is only natural that I struggle in the boy department. If you have got boys figured out at eighteen go ahead and message me and tell me your ways because boy, do I need some help. I recently became involved with this military boy. By recently I mean the last time I saw him was two moths ago. Just as we were getting started into a fun dating/relationship situation, he had to leave for boot camp (I know, depressing right?). So, I have sat around all summer wondering if his reassurances, that everything would be the same and he would be just as into me as before he left when he got back, were honest. These contemplations are what arose my question, is this actually going to be what he wants (long haul) or is this going to be another boy yet again making false promises (long shot)? I think the real question should be, why am I spending so much time worrying about another boy who will despite what I do or say, do what he wants? I totally get it, if someone professes their undying love for me and I don't feel the same way, I am not going to be with that person, I am going to say thanks but no thanks (in more or less words). I'm sure every girl does it, but I need to stop letting other people control my stress level and determine my happiness. I'm taking control of my life, it's time to start letting the situations go that are out of my control. If it is what God wants for me, then it will happen. I just need to learn to have a little more faith.

Going Green

Throughout my entire life I have used commonly bought, household items. I have recently realized that all of these items have chemicals that in no way can be good for me. In this past month I have been working to improve my health. I have been eating better, exercising more, and I have even tried "hot yoga." It is important to me to take care of my body in the best way possible. I was thinking about all the chemicals that I use on it, from my face wash, to my toothpaste, to the whitening pen I use on my teeth, to my body wash, and shampoo and conditioner. In my opinion, I need to be using natural products on my body, as I have extremely sensitive skin and all of these chemicals cannot be doing me any good. In order to transition into more natural products I started with the smallest area, my mouth. I did some research and oil pulling is an ayurvedic method dating to the 1990's by Rao, in South India. Oil pulling is a method to draw out toxins and germs of one's mouth. Usually, a person takes about a teaspoon of a vegetable oil and swishes it in their mouth for fifteen to twenty minutes. The most popular oil used is coconut oil. Among research about oil pulling, I also did research regarding toothpaste. Toothpaste is chalk full of chemicals that no one even knows how to pronounce. In order to eliminate those from my every day life (and save a little money) I am going to start making my own toothpaste at home. The ingredients are as listed here: baking soda, water, fine sea salt (optional), and peppermint extract or essential oil. You can change out the flavor as you wish but peppermint is my preferred flavor. You mix those together until you get a thick paste with the desired flavor. While doing my research I found one of the main reasons we use toothpaste is to have a more abrasive surface than your toothbrush alone to polish the teeth better, Making my own toothpaste would allow me to know exactly whats in it without worrying about random chemicals and poison control numbers on the label. Now moving onto larger areas such as my face, body, and hair. I am very hesitant to switch the face watch that I am using because, as I previously mentioned, I have sensitive skin and the face wash that I am using currently has been working so well for my face and has cleared my acne. It is important to me that I am using natural products, but I may have to concede with my face because I am not sure I am willing to irritate my skin by changing what I know what is already working (I use Biore Pore Cleanser, Baking Soda). Moving onto body wash, I am currently using regular Olay body wash with the vitamin E to help dry skin. The search for an all natural body wash is still continuing, but is in the process of being found. Most of Lush Cosmetics' products' ingredients are all natural, so despite the price they might be the best bet. My shampoo and conditioner is a similar situation. I am trying to find an all natural one, but the search is still on. I am mainly focused on the toothpaste situation because that is the one closest to entering my body. Either way, this is kind of a fun transition into a different, more clean lifestyle.

A Little Rant to Start Us Off:

                 So here's the thing, boys are awful! I've been learning this more and more, lately, and struggle with it every time something happens. For example, there was this boy, and for privacy purposes we will call him Alex, that I really cared about for a while. I worked with him and he was nice, but kind of kooky. We ended up being close, well what I was open and honest but he wasn't (I'll explain a little further down), and spent a lot of time together. We never labeled anything or even talked about what was going on except for when my brother told him I talked about him all the time! (LOL) So we just did our own thing, had fun, the usual. Then all of a sudden he felt the need to just withdraw, and I was not having that. On new year's day I finally messaged him and said, "I don't know what is going on and you're ignoring me so we need to talk about this." We ended up talking for several hours in which I found out 1) he wasn't honest and filtered himself constantly, and 2) he hung out with me because he "didn't want to hurt my feelings." (As if that wasn't going to hurt my feelings right there). Needless to say Alex and I were no longer friends. 

                    Regardless of what happened between Alex and I we struggled to maintain being normal friends. It was awkward and previously I considered him one of my best friends. I struggled to detach and not text him at the very moment something reminded me of him. We went on like this for months, I quickly was over it, and now find myself very peeved by his antics. Recently I was scrolling through my Instagram and see a picture that one of my friends posted. I recognized all of the usernames who had recently liked it (she had less than eleven likes so it was still the list of names) except for one. Naturally I clicked on the username I didn't recognize and was surprised to find it was Alex's Instagram, and I was blocked. I was surprised mainly because previously he mentioned how he didn't have Instagram, I almost expected to be blocked because he had always been immature about handling things appropriately, so it was not that big of a deal. It was mainly something to laugh at. Alex and I work together and boy have I learned my lesson. "Dating" (first off isn't as cool as it seems if thats what we were considered to be doing) in the workplace is sometimes a lesson you have to learn on your own, but take it from me, it makes things a little more awkward and slightly tense. It's interesting to see how others choose to behave in certain situations, though. Maybe I should choose Sociology for a major in college? 

Getting to Know Me

         As you can tell by the title, you can expect this post to be similar to an autobiography (but not quite as long). My name is Joye and I'm your typical teenaged girl that grew up in small towns. I like to do regular things like read, listen to music, and online shop. I also like to do things that maybe aren't so regular. I like to bake, learn instruments (short term), and write little notes to myself. I'm 18 years old and I recently graduated high school! This summer I'm determined to make it an adventure and share it with you guys. It's important to me that I make memories and constantly gain knowledge. I know this will be enlightening and interesting to see how it works out. I hope that you guys find my posts impactful, engaging, and humorous. XO